Has there ever been something you wanted that was owned or controlled by another person? The best way to get that something is through the art of negotiation. Learning this skill will bring you vast success in many aspects of your life. When you're a skilled negotiator, you can get the best price on everything you purchase or sell.

A good negotiator can work to get the best possible price on buying or selling a home, car, business or any other item. He or she can get a raise or promotion and might be able to get a better deal with a landlord or mortgage loan officer.

We're all negotiating all the time in all kinds of everyday situations: children negotiate with parents, employees negotiate with bosses, employees negotiate with each other and customers negotiate with salespeople. Negotiation is an art, not a science. 

The Pepperdine University School of Law's Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution teaches negotiation skills. I was fortunate to learn the art of negotiation and receive my certification in mediation/arbitration through this program. Professor Dick Coleman, an esteemed trial lawyer, shares his life experiences to teach negotiation skills with the Pepperdine students. He told me that negotiation classes were not even on the radar many years ago when he was in law school.

"The negotiators need to be cooperative and competitive to get each side all they are entitled to get," Coleman said. 

He teaches two main types of negotiation strategies: distributive and integrative. 

1. Distributive negotiation is a competitive approach. There is a fixed pie. Whatever one gets, the other loses. Parties claim value.
2. Integrative negotiation is a cooperative approach. Parties work to make a bigger pie, to expand the interests. Parties make moves by creating value.

Some negotiations can be completed using only distributive or only integrative strategies. Most negotiations involve elements of both strategies, as every negotiation is a mixed-motive exchange.

I recently negotiated a real estate transaction in two days with only two counter offers. It was a smooth negotiation, as I represented a buyer who had proof of cash and was willing to close in 20 to 30 days. The wise seller may have wanted more money and could have continued the dance by sending back counters. However, in the end, the seller knew there could be difficulties while waiting for a lender to approve another buyer who may have been willing to pay more money, but needed to qualify for a loan in a market full of lending uncertainties.

I learned from Professor Coleman that negotiated decisions are made in the face of uncertainty. Therefore, it's important to know as much as you can about the other side.

"Information is the currency of negotiations," Coleman said. 

I have found when negotiating, we rarely learn the bottom line of the other side. Many real estate negotiators don't disclose information about their clients; other agents go with the concept of giving out too much information.

"Sometimes, giving out information will actually turn the negotiation around," Coleman said.

Strategies I learned from Professor Coleman:

• Use the right information at the right time to increase your negotiating advantage.
• Negotiations involve numbers; always have a calculator handy.
• The person who puts out the first offer may anchor the expectation of the other side.
• Always get a concession for every move you make.
• Never offer simply to split the difference in pricing, make sure you only move on price as a condition. If you move on your price, make it conditional on the other side moving on something.
• Never bid against yourself, the negotiation process is a series of moves.
• It is important to give reasons for the number/price you are offering before you give a number, as once they hear the number, the other party won't care about anything else.
• Negotiation is a series of concessions—you have to dance the dance. The right solution at the wrong time is the wrong solution.
• Much like buying real estate involves LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION, negotiation involves PREPARATION, PREPARATION, PREPARATION.

Beverly Taki is a California-licensed real estate broker who has represented clients in Malibu for 22 years. She is a Malibu resident and president/broker of Seabreeze Estates Realty. Taki has earned a certificate in dispute resolution from Pepperdine University, specializing in mediation. Taki can be reached at beverly@beverlytaki.com or 310-456-4843. Her website is beverlytaki.com.