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Health & Fitness

How to Live a Long Life


Most of us aspire to a long life, but how do we achieve longevity? I do all the things people tell me to do.  I do not smoke, I exercise, I eat fruit and vegetables (I prefer the former over the latter), I avoid stress at all costs, and I eat fish and chicken far more than red meat.  I only drink occasionally.  Yes, indeed, I lead a boring life, but remember, longevity is my goal.

There is only one problem with all this clean living. My parents each lived exactly 91 years and 20 days—literally not virtually.  No, they were not Siamese twins nor were they born on the same day.  My mother was 2 years and 3 months older than my father, and she died 2 years and 3 months before he did. 

Now here is where it becomes interesting. Neither of my folks exercised, ate fruit and vegetables, or avoided red meat. Au contraire, my folks did everything they tell you not to.  My mother for most of her last twenty years did no exercise. She had smoked cigarettes until she was elderly, and ate like there was no tomorrow. Dinner was not her last meal.  She consumed more calories after dinner than most people do during the day.  She loved bread, candy, and whatever else was around.

My father’s lifestyle wasn’t much healthier.  Although he did more physical activity than Mom, (it would have been impossible to do less), Dad was a cigar chain smoker, ate pastrami and salami and chopped liver, and each night consumed at least a pint of ice cream.  I’m not talking about low fat ice cream or yogurt. I’m talking about the real thing.

And so as I strive to reach 91 years and 20 days (my birthright), I think it’s time to light up a cigar and eat some pastrami. What do you think?

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