I was just thinking. If God took a day off after creating the universe in six days, then surely I deserve to take a sabbatical after writing almost 100 columns for the Malibu Patch. If you see any logic in the preceding sentence, then you desperately need to take a sabbatical also.
The simple fact is I have drained my creative juices. For the past year and a half I have delivered at least one column a week and often more. I have written about every holiday we celebrate as a nation and even some we don’t.
I have covered such varied subjects as free porn in the public library to my reluctance to swim in the ocean and be eaten by a great white shark. Avocados, coyotes, weather, traffic, brunch, scorpions, pie contests, pancake breakfasts, and a song for LA are just a few of the subjects which have caught my fancy, whatever a fancy is.
I have told you how to live a longer life and how to lose weight. I have reviewed movies, given you travel tips, and even asked you to participate in a chicken naming contest. And, of course, I have written about the blessings of getting older like receiving offers of a free cremation in the mail.
No, this work product is not exactly comparable to creating the universe, but I still want to take some time off. Now is the perfect time for me to do what I like best---nothing. I intend to lie in a hammock (need to buy one) and drink a mint julep (never had one before but would like to). There is a lot to be said for doing nothing. If you don’t think so, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
When I am reinvigorated, and my mind is chock full of new ideas to write about, who knows, I might reappear.
I want to thank those of you who have read my column and have encouraged me to continue and who have made me feel welcome in Malibu, my new home. Nothing has given me more pleasure than when one of you tells me I made you laugh. Of course, I need to thank Max, who comments on virtually each and every one of my columns. His comments are invariably longer than my columns and occasionally more entertaining.
And, most important, I want to thank Jessica Davis, Malibu Patch’s editor, for allowing me to write what I want. She is a gifted journalist and a topnotch editor, which means she rarely edits what I submit.
Goodbye for now, and I hope to see you around town.
