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Health & Fitness

2012 Porsche Cayman R Full Review

It's lean, green and quick. But the seats ...

After a week with the 2012 Porsche Cayman R, several things have revealed themselves. First, when I found out that it was coming, I didn't actually get that excited. I've driven Porsches before, and unless you snag a 911 or serious version, your blood is just gonna simmer.

I was wrong ...

Second, seeing the photos of the peridot-green color had me thinking of my wife's birthstone. And driving a green machine like this all week ... I thought would attract a different sort of attention.

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I was wrong ... again.

And third, a big sign on the side saying PORSCHE isn't usually how I roll, but again ... looks are deceiving ... especially with this car.

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The 2012 Porsche Cayman R is a sprinter ... a Carl Lewis kind of sprinter. But it's also a smiling millionaire. Everywhere I went in this car, the thumbs were up like Christmas morning when you got something you really wanted. Now, let's get some of the specs out of the way so we can get to the internal, guttural crux of this here contraption.

300hp and 273 lb ft torque ... six-cylinder, 3.4-liter... six-speed ... full-race suspension ... lots of acronyms, including ASR (Anti Slip) and PSM (Porsche Stability Management) ... Ceramic Composite Brakes with 12.5-inch front rotors and 11.8 inches in the back ... 8.5X19 lightweight black rims ... and carbon-race seats. The seats, man, the seats ...

The weight of the car? Light. All this, gas mileage of 19/27 and at $81K. But this car ... is ready for the track or anything else you want to throw at it. I mean ... it's ready.

I took it to a Mazda event and got "the smile." A GM eco event in Hollywood ... and got the smile. You know the smile, the one that says, "Man, what I would do with that car ..." Well, I'm here to tell you that you're right.

First... this R (Race Version) is a bullet that Steve McQueen would have trouble keeping up with. I even got smiles from other Porsche drivers in 911s that seemed to say, "Maybe I shoulda got the Cayman?" The design exterior has curves like J.Lo, muscles like Dwayne and extensions out of a supermodel summer catalogue. But the seats ...

Second, the green just got people smiling. It was the only one I saw for a week, and people treated it like it was a doubled-refreshing Mai Tai on the beaches of St. Tropez. With no one on the beach but the supermodels ...

The PORSCHE decal is a decal. No biggie. But the seats ...

Inside, the cockpit was an ergonomic champ, although some old-school tech in the radio. Needs the swipe technology, even though it's a trackster. This R version comes sans AC and door strap pulls to save weight. Even the seatbelts are red as Christmas. But ...

THE SEATS... Now, I've planted my butt in a lot of car seats. And being a bit on the thin side, either there's too much play or to not enough support. But these have to be the best seats I've ever sat in. Carbon-backed, lightweight race buckets ... you are goin' nowhere. And the best thing? The secretive industrial-designed Cup Holders!!! Just plain cool ... although it took me two hours to realize they were there.

Final Analysis? As you know, automotive design is about capturing a feeling. But it's more ... it's about maintaining that feeling in a way that doesn't become old. Holding your attention like a woman that understands her need to evolve. To gradually become something more to hold her man's focus. The Porsche Cayman R does exactly that. It grows. Expands. Evolves in your hands. Captures your thoughts and takes them for a permanent spin. Yes, there are strange ergonomic idiosyncrasies, but that's a trait with most women and men.

Had a hard time seeing this one go because it was an affair of evolution. Positive growth where there was no end in sight. Seems to me, that's what we all look for in a car ... and the Cayman R achieves in green. Good job, Porsche doods.

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