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Blog: Apple Fires Maps Manager

A satirical look at current events!

Apple Fires Maps Manager:  According to reports, Apple has fired Richard Williamson, the manager of its highly criticized Maps application.  Apple said they would have fired him sooner, but they couldn’t locate him.

Smoking Risk: New research shows that cigarette smokers have a 68% higher risk of impotence. And now we know why people smoke after sex.

Baby Parrot in German Zoo Rejected by Parents:  Zookeepers at the Bergzoo Zoo in Germany are caring for a baby parrot around the clock after its parents rejected him at birth.  Zookeepers say they are doing their best to care for the bird, but its difficult because the parrot speaks very little German. 

Skin Cells Become Brain Cells:  Researchers in California say they've discovered a method of converting human skin cells into brain cells, offering new hope for regenerative medicine.  So for everyone watching those skin flicks, just try to remember that one day those could be brain cells. 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

La Jolla Cove’s Natural Beauty Includes Foul Smell:  World famous La Jolla Cove, where art galleries and coffee shops meet a stretch of unspoiled cliffs and Pacific Ocean, is trying to deal with a growing problem of the strong smell of bird feces emanating off the rocks.  Local businesses say if something isn’t done soon, tourists could may they’re in New Jersey. 

Chief of Air Traffic Organization Resigns:  Hank Krakowski, chief operating officer of the Air Traffic Organization has resigned following numerous reports of air traffic controllers sleeping on the job.  When asked what he’ll do now, Krakowski said he has no immediate plans other than to sleep in.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Early Sicilians Avoided Seafood:  New research finds that despite a seaside home overlooking the Mediterranean, the very first human settlers in Sicily over 10,000 years ago weren't seafood eaters.  Makes sense.  I imagine it would have been next to impossible to find a decent seafood restaurant back in those days.

No Takers for Univ of Colorado’s Gun Dorms:  Earlier this year, the University of Colorado's announced the creation of a separate dorm for students with concealed-carry gun permit, but so far, exactly zero CU students have elected to move in.  Kind of hard to believe everyone wouldn’t jump at the chance to live in a building full of armed college students. 

Pringles Offers New Holiday Potato Chips: For the holidays this year, the makers of Pringles are coming out with a white chocolate and peppermint flavored potato chip.  The company promises the chips will be a big plus for Americans struggling to keep their weight up.   

Snow on Earth:  Scientists say that any given time, snow covers approximately one quarter of the surface of the earth.  The other three-fourths is covered with Starbucks cafes.

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steve dunn May 19, 2013 at 04:43 pm
All I get on this blog is an ad for verizon
Andy Lyon May 19, 2013 at 03:48 pm
Andy Lyon May 19, 2013 at 03:47 pm
yeah sulah cat ...that's why the santa monica bay restoration foundation , the one's responsible forRead More this lagoon project , posted this photo and cation three days ago ??? https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=577617672278972&set=a.140206439353433.15428.130999036940840&type=1&theater&notif_t=like
Sulah cat May 19, 2013 at 01:17 pm
Mrs Hanscom, we can agree on one point----algae was/is present both before and after theRead More restoration. Perhaps you can explain that to Andy. Your 12-30 million dollar assertion regarding the cost of the restoration is absurd & seems to get larger with every telling of that lie. The hypocrisy is on your part when you suggest that the proponents made remarks regarding algae that YOU say they did----no responsible biologist would have made such remarks. Your breaching comments are rank speculation. Why would "Ford" breach the lagoon at this point in time? You lie, distort and foment discord at every opportunity.Puuuuuuuuuu.
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 17, 2013 at 03:51 pm
Love that you are using the message board to ask this question. Does any one have any ideas?
M Stanley May 16, 2013 at 01:33 pm
Thank you for the information Jessica!
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 05:54 pm
Also, first make sure you are signed in, and if you can't go to the reset password link here:Read More http://malibu.patch.com/forgot_password.
Max May 15, 2013 at 11:03 am
Dear Phil (re: Burt's column), I can’t quite put my finger on it, but, I sense anRead More Eggs-itential undertone to all this. Does the chicken Egg-ist on behalf of the egg or vice versa? Eggs-perience will reveal the truth. To be complete, I must rehash Camus’ “The Play-egg.” Yet, as I recall, in the Book of Eggs-odous, there wasn’t a single Play-egg, but ten of them… so many, in fact, that it seems to many readers to be literally a Dozen Play-eggs. But, then again, I’m not very religious. In fact, many of my colleagues take me for an Egg-nostic. But, they are such Hard-boiled fanatics, that, in fact, their peers surmise they boarder on Egg-lectic. But, as Burt always says in da ‘hood, “Om-letting them be what they want to be.” We, however, have one on Burt: Rumor has it that he fell of the Vegan and had an egg salad… to which he Eggs-claims, “It was a serving of ‘Egg Beaters,’ you Egg-Heads!!”
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 14, 2013 at 10:27 pm
From my family: McCluckens
Susan Tellem May 14, 2013 at 07:35 pm
Call them Nuggets, Fricassee, Kiev, Marsala and Enchilada because that's what chickens end up as onRead More the dinner plate. Just sayin'.
TheDr. May 2, 2013 at 11:26 pm
But autumn in old town around Farmington Rd and Grand River is nice as is the season anywhere inRead More Michigan..I love California and the years I lived there.
J. Flo April 27, 2013 at 02:21 am
May Malibu residents, businesses and our City ALWAYS have the foresight and passion to remember andRead More protect > "Malibu was a place I went to with friends to hang out at the beach. But the last few years, its become a place I often go to by myself as a little escape zone. Whenever I have need to clear by head and level my shoulders, I head out to Malibu for a little mini-vacation. Whenever, like Ishmael, it feels like a damp, drizzly November in my soul, I fire up my 1965 Chevelle Malibu Super Sport and go see the watery part of the world." Amen.
Darcy Miller April 27, 2013 at 12:43 am
I'm from Farmington, MI and I live in Calabasas now, off Mulholland Highway, for the same reason.Read More Beauty all around...
Sulah cat May 16, 2013 at 03:18 pm
MT-------still engaging in blatant hyperbole. Aldo Leopold van de Hoeck is not! Jacques, thanksRead More for the offer but no thanks. You'll just have to do it yourself. It's difficult to respond to a remark that has no sense. Puuuuuuuuuuur
Jacques Mehoff May 3, 2013 at 07:30 pm
I don't know why Sulah Cat would talk about CeCe in such a way, I thought they were friends......
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 3, 2013 at 07:24 pm
Thanks all for the love. I think I learned my lesson about taking time off though! It's been a busyRead More week back.
J. Flo April 10, 2013 at 12:51 am
We also use Havahart traps. They are gentle and humane, we can easily transport the little crittersRead More away from our population. We've done this successfully at least 20 times! Shared them with countless Malibu friends who've also successfully and humanely cured their rodent issues.
Maureen Haldeman April 9, 2013 at 02:29 pm
Many complain but do nothing more ... and it is only by action that something gets accomplished. IRead More applaud The Malibu Agricultural Society for persevering on this critical issue and thank the local businesses that removed the rat poison from their shelves. We really can all make a difference. Thank you!
Cece Stein April 9, 2013 at 01:56 pm
Dittos Kian Well said and thanks for your compassion .
J. Flo April 30, 2013 at 02:44 pm
"Although a great many women had entered the men’s room, not a single one emerged."Read More I just choked on my coffee. This might be the funniest thing I've ever read . . .