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Blog: Study Finds Surgeons Still Leaving Items in Patients

A satirical look at current events!

Study Finds Surgeons Still Leaving Items in Patients:  According to a new study from Johns Hopkins, an alarming number of surgeons are still leaving items inside patients’ bodies after surgical procedures.  Not surprisingly, the item most frequently found was a copy of “Surgery for Dummies.”

Future Architects to Be Trained by Video Games:  Industry analysts say that much of the training that future architects receive will be via video games.  Yea, and those video games will have names like “Grand Theft, Construction Project!”

Obesity in the South:  A new report says that more than 30% of the population of the South is obese.  If this trend continues, they may have to loosen the Bible Belt a few notches.

Oldest Zoo Gorilla Celebrates Birthday At Columbus Zoo:  Colo, the first gorilla born in a zoo just turned 56 and celebrated her birthday with some special treats at her central Ohio home in the Columbus Zoo.  The zoo staff said say Colo blew out all the candles and made a wish that Social Security and Medicare will still be solvent by the time she turns 65.

Co-Inventor of Bar Code Dies:  Norman Joseph Woodland, the co-inventor of the bar code that labels nearly every product in stores and has boosted productivity in nearly every sector of commerce worldwide, has died at age 91.  In related news, his family is claiming they were charged the wrong price for his casket.  

Many Americans Say God’s Steering the Economy:  According to a national survey being conducted by Baylor, about one in five Americans feel that its really God who is steering economy.  The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) says if that is the case, prayers may need to be monitored to prevent insider trading.

Former Olympian Turns to Prostitution:  Three-time Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton says she coped with depression and a troubled marriage by working for the last year as a high-priced escort, charging clients up to $600 an hour.  Sounds like she may have found a surefire path to the gold after all.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

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Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
Andy Lyon May 17, 2013 at 01:06 pm
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10152230218586677.1073741829.583101676&type=1
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 17, 2013 at 03:51 pm
Love that you are using the message board to ask this question. Does any one have any ideas?
M Stanley May 16, 2013 at 01:33 pm
Thank you for the information Jessica!
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 05:54 pm
Also, first make sure you are signed in, and if you can't go to the reset password link here:Read More http://malibu.patch.com/forgot_password.
Max May 15, 2013 at 11:03 am
Dear Phil (re: Burt's column), I can’t quite put my finger on it, but, I sense anRead More Eggs-itential undertone to all this. Does the chicken Egg-ist on behalf of the egg or vice versa? Eggs-perience will reveal the truth. To be complete, I must rehash Camus’ “The Play-egg.” Yet, as I recall, in the Book of Eggs-odous, there wasn’t a single Play-egg, but ten of them… so many, in fact, that it seems to many readers to be literally a Dozen Play-eggs. But, then again, I’m not very religious. In fact, many of my colleagues take me for an Egg-nostic. But, they are such Hard-boiled fanatics, that, in fact, their peers surmise they boarder on Egg-lectic. But, as Burt always says in da ‘hood, “Om-letting them be what they want to be.” We, however, have one on Burt: Rumor has it that he fell of the Vegan and had an egg salad… to which he Eggs-claims, “It was a serving of ‘Egg Beaters,’ you Egg-Heads!!”
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 14, 2013 at 10:27 pm
From my family: McCluckens
Susan Tellem May 14, 2013 at 07:35 pm
Call them Nuggets, Fricassee, Kiev, Marsala and Enchilada because that's what chickens end up as onRead More the dinner plate. Just sayin'.
TheDr. May 2, 2013 at 11:26 pm
But autumn in old town around Farmington Rd and Grand River is nice as is the season anywhere inRead More Michigan..I love California and the years I lived there.
J. Flo April 27, 2013 at 02:21 am
May Malibu residents, businesses and our City ALWAYS have the foresight and passion to remember andRead More protect > "Malibu was a place I went to with friends to hang out at the beach. But the last few years, its become a place I often go to by myself as a little escape zone. Whenever I have need to clear by head and level my shoulders, I head out to Malibu for a little mini-vacation. Whenever, like Ishmael, it feels like a damp, drizzly November in my soul, I fire up my 1965 Chevelle Malibu Super Sport and go see the watery part of the world." Amen.
Darcy Miller April 27, 2013 at 12:43 am
I'm from Farmington, MI and I live in Calabasas now, off Mulholland Highway, for the same reason.Read More Beauty all around...
Sulah cat May 16, 2013 at 03:18 pm
MT-------still engaging in blatant hyperbole. Aldo Leopold van de Hoeck is not! Jacques, thanksRead More for the offer but no thanks. You'll just have to do it yourself. It's difficult to respond to a remark that has no sense. Puuuuuuuuuuur
Jacques Mehoff May 3, 2013 at 07:30 pm
I don't know why Sulah Cat would talk about CeCe in such a way, I thought they were friends......
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 3, 2013 at 07:24 pm
Thanks all for the love. I think I learned my lesson about taking time off though! It's been a busyRead More week back.
J. Flo April 10, 2013 at 12:51 am
We also use Havahart traps. They are gentle and humane, we can easily transport the little crittersRead More away from our population. We've done this successfully at least 20 times! Shared them with countless Malibu friends who've also successfully and humanely cured their rodent issues.
Maureen Haldeman April 9, 2013 at 02:29 pm
Many complain but do nothing more ... and it is only by action that something gets accomplished. IRead More applaud The Malibu Agricultural Society for persevering on this critical issue and thank the local businesses that removed the rat poison from their shelves. We really can all make a difference. Thank you!
Cece Stein April 9, 2013 at 01:56 pm
Dittos Kian Well said and thanks for your compassion .
J. Flo April 30, 2013 at 02:44 pm
"Although a great many women had entered the men’s room, not a single one emerged."Read More I just choked on my coffee. This might be the funniest thing I've ever read . . .