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Woman Slept While Tornado Ripped Off Her Roof

A satirical look at current events!

Woman Slept While Tornado Ripped Off Her Roof:  A 77-year-old Alabama woman said she fell asleep on the couch and didn't realize that a tornado had ripped off much of her roof and damaged most of her home until firefighters and neighbors came to check on her.  All I can say is, that must have been one helluva comfortable couch!

Mexican Traffickers Moving Pot Farms to US Forests:  In a move that could create risks for hunters and other park goers, the US Park Service is reporting that Mexican drug traffickers are now planting their pot crop deep inside American forests.  I’ll tell you one thing, it’ll certainly make a lot of people rethink their image of “Smokey Bear.”

Kate Winslet Headed to Space:  A year after she rescued his mother from a fire and recently married his nephew, Kate Winslet has been given a free ticket to blast into space aboard one of Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic space flights.  And if she decides to take her brand-new hubby along, she’ll most likely join the exclusive 300-Mile-High-Club.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Study Shows Doctors Do Not Report Colleagues:  A new survey says that many doctors do not report other doctors who are drunk, addicted to drugs, mentally ill or outright incompetent.  Its also quite possible that other doctors did report them, but nobody could read their handwriting.

LA Starts Gun Buyback Program 2012:  The Los Angeles Police Department has started their 4th annual gun buyback program for 2012, a program which offers Angelenos grocery gift cards in exchange for guns.  So for all of you who have been stockpiling those AK47’s and AR15’s, I hear Safeway is having a big sale on frozen, petite, broccoli florets this week. 

Hawking Wants Buzz Aldrin for Joint Venture:  Stephen Hawking, one of the world's leading astrophysicists, has recently asked former astronaut Buzz Aldrin to team-up for an effort to promote space exploration.  Can’t blame Hawking for trying to catch a good Buzz.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

New Habitat for Big Cats Who Worked at MGM Grand:  Dozens of lions that used to entertain tourists at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas have a new gig at the recently opened Lion Habitat Ranch in nearby Henderson, Nev.  For anyone interested in getting in to see the big cats, there’s a small cover and a two elk minimum.

Mummified Remains Found in LA:  Los Angeles County authorities are investigating whether year-old mummified remains discovered in a Benedict Canyon home are those of actress Yvette Vickers, who starred in the 1950s cult horror movies "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" and "Attack of the Giant Leeches."  Its kind of a shame she’s dead because publicity like this could really revive a horror film career.

Utah Teachers Get Free Gun Training:  Nearly 200 Utah teachers attended a free training session on how to properly handle firearms organized by the Utah Shooting Sports Council in preparation for teachers carrying firearms in the classrooms.  Teachers packing heat?  And to think that just a few short years ago everyone used to think that the Nuns with their rulers were real badasses!

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steve dunn May 19, 2013 at 04:43 pm
All I get on this blog is an ad for verizon
Andy Lyon May 19, 2013 at 03:48 pm
Andy Lyon May 19, 2013 at 03:47 pm
yeah sulah cat ...that's why the santa monica bay restoration foundation , the one's responsible forRead More this lagoon project , posted this photo and cation three days ago ??? https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=577617672278972&set=a.140206439353433.15428.130999036940840&type=1&theater&notif_t=like
Sulah cat May 19, 2013 at 01:17 pm
Mrs Hanscom, we can agree on one point----algae was/is present both before and after theRead More restoration. Perhaps you can explain that to Andy. Your 12-30 million dollar assertion regarding the cost of the restoration is absurd & seems to get larger with every telling of that lie. The hypocrisy is on your part when you suggest that the proponents made remarks regarding algae that YOU say they did----no responsible biologist would have made such remarks. Your breaching comments are rank speculation. Why would "Ford" breach the lagoon at this point in time? You lie, distort and foment discord at every opportunity.Puuuuuuuuuu.
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 17, 2013 at 03:51 pm
Love that you are using the message board to ask this question. Does any one have any ideas?
M Stanley May 16, 2013 at 01:33 pm
Thank you for the information Jessica!
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 05:54 pm
Also, first make sure you are signed in, and if you can't go to the reset password link here:Read More http://malibu.patch.com/forgot_password.
Max May 15, 2013 at 11:03 am
Dear Phil (re: Burt's column), I can’t quite put my finger on it, but, I sense anRead More Eggs-itential undertone to all this. Does the chicken Egg-ist on behalf of the egg or vice versa? Eggs-perience will reveal the truth. To be complete, I must rehash Camus’ “The Play-egg.” Yet, as I recall, in the Book of Eggs-odous, there wasn’t a single Play-egg, but ten of them… so many, in fact, that it seems to many readers to be literally a Dozen Play-eggs. But, then again, I’m not very religious. In fact, many of my colleagues take me for an Egg-nostic. But, they are such Hard-boiled fanatics, that, in fact, their peers surmise they boarder on Egg-lectic. But, as Burt always says in da ‘hood, “Om-letting them be what they want to be.” We, however, have one on Burt: Rumor has it that he fell of the Vegan and had an egg salad… to which he Eggs-claims, “It was a serving of ‘Egg Beaters,’ you Egg-Heads!!”
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 14, 2013 at 10:27 pm
From my family: McCluckens
Susan Tellem May 14, 2013 at 07:35 pm
Call them Nuggets, Fricassee, Kiev, Marsala and Enchilada because that's what chickens end up as onRead More the dinner plate. Just sayin'.
TheDr. May 2, 2013 at 11:26 pm
But autumn in old town around Farmington Rd and Grand River is nice as is the season anywhere inRead More Michigan..I love California and the years I lived there.
J. Flo April 27, 2013 at 02:21 am
May Malibu residents, businesses and our City ALWAYS have the foresight and passion to remember andRead More protect > "Malibu was a place I went to with friends to hang out at the beach. But the last few years, its become a place I often go to by myself as a little escape zone. Whenever I have need to clear by head and level my shoulders, I head out to Malibu for a little mini-vacation. Whenever, like Ishmael, it feels like a damp, drizzly November in my soul, I fire up my 1965 Chevelle Malibu Super Sport and go see the watery part of the world." Amen.
Darcy Miller April 27, 2013 at 12:43 am
I'm from Farmington, MI and I live in Calabasas now, off Mulholland Highway, for the same reason.Read More Beauty all around...
Sulah cat May 16, 2013 at 03:18 pm
MT-------still engaging in blatant hyperbole. Aldo Leopold van de Hoeck is not! Jacques, thanksRead More for the offer but no thanks. You'll just have to do it yourself. It's difficult to respond to a remark that has no sense. Puuuuuuuuuuur
Jacques Mehoff May 3, 2013 at 07:30 pm
I don't know why Sulah Cat would talk about CeCe in such a way, I thought they were friends......
Jessica E. Davis (Editor) May 3, 2013 at 07:24 pm
Thanks all for the love. I think I learned my lesson about taking time off though! It's been a busyRead More week back.
J. Flo April 10, 2013 at 12:51 am
We also use Havahart traps. They are gentle and humane, we can easily transport the little crittersRead More away from our population. We've done this successfully at least 20 times! Shared them with countless Malibu friends who've also successfully and humanely cured their rodent issues.
Maureen Haldeman April 9, 2013 at 02:29 pm
Many complain but do nothing more ... and it is only by action that something gets accomplished. IRead More applaud The Malibu Agricultural Society for persevering on this critical issue and thank the local businesses that removed the rat poison from their shelves. We really can all make a difference. Thank you!
Cece Stein April 9, 2013 at 01:56 pm
Dittos Kian Well said and thanks for your compassion .
J. Flo April 30, 2013 at 02:44 pm
"Although a great many women had entered the men’s room, not a single one emerged."Read More I just choked on my coffee. This might be the funniest thing I've ever read . . .