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Health & Fitness

Mysterious Sea Creature Washes Ashore In Spain

Mysterious Sea Creature Washes Ashore In Spain:  Residents of Villaricos, Spain were shocked to discover a very strange-looking 13-foot-long, horned sea creature that washed ashore on a beach in the southern coastal town.  Marine biologists who’ve examined the beast say it looks like a cross between the Loch Ness Monster and something Anthony Weiner might tweet.

God Tells Pope to Resign:  Former Pope Benedict XVI, who shocked the world by resigning, has revealed that God told him to do so during a “mystical experience.”  This led San Deigns to wonder if God is gonna be in the San Diego area any time soon, would he mind speaking to Mayor Filner?

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Dick Van Dyke Survives Car Fire:  Veteran actor Dick Van Dyke had a close call, but survived after the Jaguar he was driving burst into flames on the Ventura Freeway in Los Angeles.  And that my friends, is the latest hot celebrity news.

Doctors Remove Fork From Man’s Penis:  Doctors removed a fork from a 70-year-old Australian man’s penis after he inserted it into his urethra for autoerotic stimulation and it got stuck.  Makes you wonder just what the fork was he thinking? 

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Woman With Two Vaginas Turns Down $1 Million Porn Offer:  A 27-year-old British woman named Hazel Jones, who was born with two vaginas, has turned down a $1 million offer from a US adult film production company to star in one of their porn films.  Ironically, this is probably the only person alive who could technically be a prostitute and a virgin at the same time.

Ben Affleck is the Next Batman:  Warner Bros. has slated Ben Affleck for the latest incarnation of rich boy-cum-superhero Bruce Wayne in the next Batman film.  Personally, I would have gone with Alex Rodriquez.  Its looking as if he’s gonna have a lot of free time on his hands and he certainly knows how to handle a bat. 

Bob and Delores Hope’s Possessions Sold:  Auctioneers are selling off the remaining items from the Toluca Lake home of Delores Hope, widow of famed comedian Bob Hope who passed away in 2011 at age 102.  I can’t help but feel that now both she and Bob are gone, that pretty much leaves us with no Hope.


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