Surgeons Find 12 Gold Bars in Man’s Stomach

Surgeons Find 12 Gold Bars in Man’s Stomach:  A 63-year-old Indian businessman who was having stomach trouble and difficulty going to the bathroom told his doctors he'd swallowed a water bottle cap out of anger after arguing with his wife, but surgery to remove the bottle cap instead revealed 12 small bars of gold, weighing nearly a pound and worth approximately $23,000.  Well, I’ve always heard its good to eat plenty of carats.  We’ve all heard of “blood diamonds,” but this is something totally off the charts. 

Ukrainian Prime Minister Thinks Putin Would Restore Soviet Union:  Ukrainian Prime Minister Arseniy Yatsenyuk said he believes Russian President Vladimir Putin "has a dream to restore the Soviet Union" — and Putin realizing that dream would be disastrous for the rest of the world.  This has caused some in the medical community to wonder if Ukrainians may actually be “Putin intolerant.” 


Woman Finds Dead Body During Easter Egg Hunt:  A Tennessee woman made a grisly discovery while hunting for Easter eggs in her back yard with her 3-year-old son when she noticed tennis shoes in the crawl space under her deck and realized it was a dead body.  Now I’m not especially religious, but I would assume any time you find a dead body found around Easter, it might be a good idea to wait three days before burying it.  Police say no one has been charged, but the Easter Bunny is being questioned.

Creationist Says Dinosaurs Were on Noah’s Ark:  Noted creationist Carl Kerby claims that dinosaurs did accompany Noah on his Ark as the entire world was flooded, but just the younger ones.  If that’s the case, we probably should be calling it “Jurassic Ark.”


Michigan City Hunting Vandal Pooping on Playgrounds:  Residents of one Michigan city are pulling out all the stops to catch a serial pooper who has been despoiling local playground’s sliding boards, even putting up a billboard in an attempt to bring the fecal fiend to justice.  Police have interviewed three suspects, but are focusing on number 2, who’s also considered a “party pooper.” 

Australian Energy Drink MosKa Found to Contain Levitra:  An Australian energy drink that claimed to naturally increase sexual performance, has just been banned in its home country after it was found to contain the erectile dysfunction drug Levitra.  One thing’s for sure, if it contains Levitra, I’m guessing they shouldn’t be marketing this as a “soft drink.”  

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