Vandals Flipping Over Smart Cars in San Francisco: San Francisco police are searching for suspects after at least four Smart Cars were flipped over during a wave of vandalism in that city. Smart Car owners expressed hope that these thugs would stop targeting their cars and turn perhaps over a new LEAF.
Kentucky Florist Selling Kentucky Fried Chicken Prom Corsages: Just in time for the class of 2014, a Louisville, Kentucky florist is selling prom corsages with a piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken embedded within the floral arrangement for just $20. I’m guessing these are geared toward kids who want to turn their prom night into kind of a Tim Burton film. For safety sake, school officials are asking those who choose fried chicken corsages to make certain to only select a boneless chicken corsage.
North Korea Not Happy With Satirical Salon Ad: North Korea officials are said to be beyond angry after a local London hair salon displayed a poster ad that mocked out Kim Jong-un’s hairdo. North Korean officials complained to UK authorities that they have seen leader Kim’s hair up-close and it can only be described as “fabulous.” Sadly, this entire incident could have been avoided had Dennis Rodman taken the time to share some of his fashion expertise with Kim when he visits North Korea.
High School Closed Due To Onslaught Of Snakes: The Russian news agency Interfax is reporting that classes at a high school in southern Kyrgyzstan had to be suspended due to an infestation of snakes. Wonder just how many snake days are built into the school calendar? School officials say its unlikely the school can be reopened until Samuel L. Jackson is able to clear his schedule.
Florida Woman Recovering From Bear Attack: Sheriff’s deputies report that a Florida woman is recovering after being attacked and dragged by a family of bears who ambled into her open garage and sifted through her garbage cans in search of food. Some are saying the bears only left the woods after they ran out of toilet paper. Guess she’ll just have to grin and bear it.
New Earth-Like Planet Found: For the first time in history, scientists say they’ve found a planet like Earth, which is made up of the same materials as Earth (iron, rock, ice, and water) and is located in the same “Goldilocks Zone” of a star that allows for liquid water and potentially life. Scientists caution that just because the planet is located in the Goldilocks Zone, there’s very little chance that we’ll find bear families who’ve left out porridge for weary space travelers.
US Airways Apologizes for Porn Image Tweet: US Airways issued an apology immediately after it mistakenly tweeted photograph of a naked woman lying on a bed with a toy airplane between her legs in response to a customer complaint about a flight delay. On a positive note, sounds like the plane landed in the one place where most flyers wouldn’t object to a long layover.
German Shepherd Gets Jury Summons in New Jersey: Court officials in New Jersey’s Cumberland County are blaming a computer glitch for a summons that called a 5-year-old German Shepherd to report for jury duty. Guess this is what passes for a jury of your peers in New Jersey. Critics are warning about the possibility of jury tampering, pointing out how easy it would be to get this juror to sit, shake hands and then roll over, but the judge promised to keep the jury on a short leash and, if necessary, put a tail on the jurors. After the trail, the dog was awarded “Best in Court.”