Burt's Eye View: Spoiled Rotten

I love to complain and certainly admire others who do also, but the weather here is not one of the things we should complain about.

We Malibuites or whatever we call ourselves are spoiled rotten. A month ago I heard two adult males at the MalibuGym bemoaning the severe winter weather. One gymnast (my reference to anybody who works out at a gym) actually said to the other, “This is the worst winter I can remember.” The other gymnast replied, “I can’t wait for spring.”  

“Say what?” I said.     

Coming from the old country, I don’t have a clue what these two guys are talking about. From my perspective, this winter was absolutely delightful. On several occasions I ate outside, wore short sleeve shirts, and even sunbathed. Yes, I needed to heat my house for maybe 10 days, but back in New Jersey the heat went on in October and stayed on until late April.    

To put it another way, had we had a winter back East like we just suffered through in Malibu, people would be dancing naked in the streets and praising the Almighty.    

Back in February I spoke to my brother Phil, who lives near Gore Mountain, a ski resort in upstate New York.  “How’s the weather there?” I inquired.  “Could be warmer,” he reported. “The thermometer reads minus 22 degrees without the wind chill factor. They closed the ski lift because it was minus 50 degrees at the top of Gore Mountain.” Now, in my opinion,that’s a severe winter, and if my brother longs for spring, he’s got a right.     

If my eyes see alright, and so far I don’t need glasses, our spring sprang over a month ago. Flowers adorned the hills up on Kanan Dume Road, my magnolia tree blossomed, the birds built nests, and if that isn’t spring, what is.  The way I see it, our springs comes about two months to three months before spring back in the Northeast.    

I love to complain and certainly admire others who do also, but the weather here is not one of the things we should complain about. In other words, give me a break!

lw March 17, 2013 at 04:23 PM
Yet again your perspective demonstrates that you're a transplant, a non-local, an East Coaster. I have lived in Malibu for decades and cherish my existence in this El Doradoesque coastal town. The beauty of the ocean, the beaches, the mountains, the canyons, the temperate weather ... we are blessed by God's gifts. While Malibu could have used more rain this winter, the cool weather makes me bring out my Ugg boots and sweaters for the chill mornings. When you eschew your East Coast know-better-than-thou sensibilities, than is the time to call yourself a "Malibuite". For now, I welcome you as an East Coast transplant looking in from the outside. MLO
Max March 17, 2013 at 07:38 PM
Wrong again, Mr. Dry Ice, You’ve immigrated during one of our milder winters. Wait till it gets REALLY winter-like. Why would Bing Crosby sing “Have yourself a very Merry Christmas” if it never gets frigid here? At times, we have a whopping 75% cloud cover here. And you can see WHITECAPS! One year it SNOWED on Kanan! An actual Malibu snowball is on permanent display at the Smithsonian in a temperature and humidity controlled glass case. And Gidget’s name was originally “Frigid,” but at the last minute, the censors were concerned about alternate interpretations. And, those bird nests and flowers? These props were put up by realtors to attract East Coast Snowbirds. Why do you think your freezer is called a “Hotpoint”? Because, during typical winters it gets so cold that your freezer may turn out to be the “hot point” in your home. The brilliant explorer, Robert E. Peary, mistakenly thought he discovered the North Pole. In reality, he was traveling up PCH from San Diego, and had to stop at Landon Park to warm up; the temperature plunged to 50° that day. Rumor has it, as he looked at the baseball field flag pole he recorded that he had reached the North Pole (it was a Final Jeopardy “answer”). And the term “I shiver in my timbers” came from a forest ranger when the wind-chill factor hit a frostbiting temperature of 85°. Mr. Ross, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Just stick around. Soon you’ll change your first name to “Burrrrrrr.”


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