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Burt's Eye View: Mob Talk

This could be an opportunity of a lifetime, because yours truly will be speaking at the Payson Library at Pepperdine.

Get your calendars out and mark off Wednesday night, Feb. 6, only a month from now. If you have a scheduling conflict, cancel the other event. It doesn’t matter whether it’s life saving surgery or your daughter’s wedding, just postpone it.

This could be an opportunity of a lifetime, because yours truly will be speaking at 7:30 p.m. at the Payson Library at Pepperdine. By the way, if this talk is really more important than your daughter’s wedding, I can honestly say, “Get a life.”     

Now you might be wondering why the Jewish former president of the Harvard Radcliffe Young Democratic Club and Ted Kennedy’s first summer intern is speaking at Pepperdine, a Christian bastion of conservatism. That would be a mighty thoughtful question, so come one, come all to find out the answer.     

I promise you one thing—if you are not 100 percent fully satisfied with the talk, you will get a refund in full. That should be an easy promise to keep since admission is free. All you have to do is to contact Ken LaZebnik and make a reservation. Ken’s email address is ken.lazebnik@pepperdine.edu or you can call Ken at 310 506 6785.     

If you really want to know, I will be talking about the mob’s attempt to bribe me when I was mayor of Fort Lee, New Jersey. It’s been a long time since I have talked about those events, but I still remember the $100,000 in small bills, the death threat, the bullet proof raincoat, the two blondes in the Oranges who could make my hair stand on end, the trial in Federal Court, and so on.        

I hope to meet many of you on Feb. 6 and thank you in person for reading my column.

Max January 09, 2013 at 03:24 AM
After much thought and deliberation, I am about 65% certain that I’ll attend your presentation. To arrive at this point, I cleared my record of all outstanding debts and misgivings that I could recall. First, I sent the Boston Mystic River Bridge people a dime, since, back in ’74, my dime missed the catch-bucket, rolled off the bridge and landed in the river below. Second, after recently donating a set of 1960 World Book Encyclopedias to my elementary school, they forgave my 25-cent (funny, where is the old “cent” symbol on this contraption?) overdue library fine from October 1957. Third, I drove out to Canter’s deli and gave the bakery 15 cents for eating too many free sample cookies from their counter, as my Mom bought a thin-sliced pumpernickel bread loaf back in May 1958. Finally, I planted 5 trees in your name: 3 in Israel and 2 in Vatican City. I’m sure I left something out, so, I am still hesitating about attending. I am also 93.75% convinced that this is not a sting operation, since your announcement did not state that the surviving baseball All-Stars from the second All-Star game of the ’62 season will be there to autograph baseballs and other memorabilia (FYI: the game was played at Wrigley Field on July 30, 1962; the American League beat the National League by a score of 9 to 4; JFK threw out the first pitch and Leon Wagner of the LA Angels was the MVP).

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