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Community Corner

Burt's Eye View: There's No Place Like Home

A famous song proclaims “there’s no place like home for the holidays,” but if you are blessed enough to live in Malibu, you might as well delete the words “for the holidays.” There’s never a bad time to return to Malibu, even after a glorious trip to Yellowstone Park and the Grand Tetons, like my bride and I  did just a few days ago.
 
Whenever I get back from a trip I tend to reflect and wish to share some of my observations with you.
 
1) Mountain weather is considerably different from Malibu weather.  If you want to experience a change in seasons, these two national parks are perfect.  You can have a taste of all four seasons in about an hour and a half.  On a number of occasions something wet fell from the sky (people called it “rain”); at other times small white pellets hit me in the head (people called it “hail”); and when I first turned on my ignition in the morning, my windshield was covered with a difficult-to-remove white layer (people called it frost).
 
2) A grizzly bear ran past my parked car. If you believe you can outrun a grizzly bear, my money is on the bear, and you might want to get your will in order before testing your belief.  It doesn’t matter whether you are a sprinter or a marathon runner, or whether you have the appropriate footwear. You are going to lose.
 
3) All the precipitation is deeply appreciated by the mosquito population. Mosquitoes in these national parks are not as large as eagles, but they do give the Jersey mosquito a run for its money.
 
4) The early bird does not always get the worm.  Early in the morning is a great time to observe the animals, but occasionally the fog is so thick you are lucky to see the road.
 
5) I went fishing on Yellowstone Lake.  I did not catch a single lake trout or a cutthroat trout. I did catch cold.
 
6) Bison are no longer an endangered species.  I am not stating this as a scientific fact, but rather as a driver who was fortunate enough not to hit any of them on the road.
 
7) Congress declared Yellowstone a national park in the 1870’s. They haven’t done anything better since.
 
8) Malibu’s own Gary Peterson told me to drive the Bear Tooth Highway near the Northeast entrance to Yellowstone. He said it is one of the most beautiful rides imaginable. Gary knows what he is talking about.
 
9) I never saw a grizzly bear fight a pack of wolves over an elk carcass.  That is what the nature channels are for.
 
10)  Many of the service people in the parks are college students from around the country. I noticed that several of them frequently used the word “awesome.” I informed each and every one of them that they owe the State of California $1 for each time they say the word.
 
Enough observations for now. It’s great to be back in the Bu.

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