Not that long ago I read in this very same Malibu Patch the following words, “What kind of blonde hair is better for me—golden or platinum?” If ever I were aware of a gender gap, it was when I read those words. In my 69 years on this planet I have never spoken nor heard a man or woman speak any words quite like those.
I was so moved by this discussion of hair color I took it upon myself to do a scientific study of hair color in Malibu, if you call looking at women around town a “scientific study.” I have concluded that 62.7 percent of women in Malibu have one shade or another of blonde hair, or way more than in Bergen County, New Jersey where I hail from.
Inquiring minds want to know why so many women in Malibu have blonde hair? Two theories immediately come to mind. The first theory attributes all this blondeness to the weather. There are supposedly 300 sunny days in Malibu each year.
We all know sun makes hair color lighter, so ipso facto, blondes must abound here, but Sweden has an overwhelmingly blonde population with little sunlight, and the women of the Congo all have dark hair and nothing but sunlight.
The second theory points to hair dye as a possible explanation for the abundance of blonde women here in Malibu. This means the hair stylists in town must be doing a booming business, and for what it’s worth, in my opinion, they do their business very well.
What confuses me then is how many young children in Malibu have perfectly natural blonde hair when their parents apparently do not. The question we must ask ourselves is how many generations of women can dye their hair blonde before their children come out naturally blonde. The requisite number seems to have been met here.
If blondes do have more fun, then Malibu must be the fun capital of our country, but I’m just not sure I’m buying into the popular theory. When I was mayor of Fort Lee, New Jersey, the mafia tried to bribe me with two blondes who they said could make my hair stand on end. I politely declined, but I have no idea whether my decision would have been different had they offered me two brunettes or two red heads with the same abilities.
My bride of 30 years is a beautiful brunette, and we have fun all the time. So there you have it.