Autumn is almost upon us, and it’s time for real men to ignore the family once again, to yank a beer from the frig, and to watch grown men give each other concussions. Yes, it’s time to put life behind us and to watch some NFL football.
Now that I live here in Malibu I need to reevaluate my allegiances and so I googled the LA Rams to see if that were a team worthy of my support each week. I couldn’t find such a team, but located a team called the Saint Louis Rams. I called a friend to find out what happened to the LA Rams only to be told once again that I was at least a decade or two behind the times. “You have got to be kidding. Tell me LA has an NFL team,” I shouted only to be greeted by silence.
I am sure I’m not the first person to ask why America’s second most populated city doesn’t have an NFL team, but WHY IN HEAVEN’S NAME DOESN’T LA HAVE AN NFL TEAM?
If you look at the nine American cities with populations over one million, other than LA only San Antonio doesn’t have an NFL team and who cares about San Antonio. New York has two teams (both located in New Jersey), Chicago, Houston, Philadelphia, Phoenix, San Diego and Dallas all have teams.
Quite frankly not having an NFL team is (there is no other way to describe it) shockingly un-American. If the House on un-American Activities Committee were still in existence (thank our creator it is not) then surely this would be an un-American activity worthy of their investigation. If we are not going to have a team, then we might as well just outlaw apple pie and be done with it.
I don’t begin to understand why people in Malibu can get agitated about having a Whole Foods and not be simply distraught about not having an NFL team in easy driving distance. What is happening to this country? We are going to the dogs. What am I supposed to do on Sunday? Pretty soon somebody is going to tell me LA has a hockey team when it’s too warm here to even make ice.