The DeVito Saga #13

As the ground grew closer and death drew nearer . . . my whole life flashed before my eyes.  (Except for 1949, which was the year my grandmother and my mother conspired to steal my orange-feathered Apache headdress, leaving me with nothing to wear on my head Sunday mornings when the whole family attended church.)

Then my survival instincts suddenly kicked into gear . . . "Maybe there is a way I can survive this fall!!! . . . if only I could land on something soft that would absorb the shock of my body hitting it at 100 MPH."

And immediately the light bulb in my head switched on!!! . . . "I could crawl up Danny's leg, climb onto his back, and then rotate around to his stomach just before we hit the ground!!!"

But there are definite pros and cons to this plan.  It's sort of a "toss up":  on the one hand Danny would be dead, there would be nobody to play the "Ellrod" role, and we wouldn't be able to save the world.  But on the other hand I would still be alive.

What the heck . . . I may as well do it . . . otherwise we'll both die . . . and . . .  I'm taller than Danny . . . so if only one of us can survive it should be me because . . . if an old person can't reach their medicine which is up on a shelf, I could reach it for them but

Danny couldn't . . . so, obviously, I'm the one who should be on top when we hit the ground. 

So yeah, I felt bound by an ethical duty to protect America's Senior Citizen's